Crowning Glory

I have to admit that I have done the most retarded thing ever. I actually "did" the deed about a month ago and now I am regretting it. I cut my hair. I had wanted to cut it before the wedding because it had been long for such a seemingly endless period of time. I was sick of having the lengthy hair, I thought that I would look more "edgy" with an updated do. I made the appointment with my stylist Tiffanie right away. Granted, she is an AMAZING stylist and has been doing my hair for years now. She always does what I want her to do, and I have found out that I am the problem when it comes my own hair. 

So here I am now, with a do-rag. Yes, a REAL do-rag, my husband's to be exact. (You might wonder what Cameron is doing with a do-rag, you will have to ask him about that one). I have to sleep in one every night because if I don't I look like Alfalfa from the Little Rascals. I have all of these cowlicks and they literally stand straight up after a full nights sleep on them. All the blow drying, hair straighting, pomade using, hairspray spraying, hair slicking in the world won't keep it down.

I have been lamenting to Cameron that I am so depressed at what I have done. I am reminded now that my Grandma Faye always said to me, "Don't cut that hair girl, its your crowning glory". And I also found that in the Bible it says the SAME THING... 1st Corinthians 11:15 "But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her."

So I am hoping that with God's help and my do-rag I can get my long hair back. The good news is I feel really tough with a do-rag.

Animal Lover

For those of you that don't know me that well, I have never been an animal lover. People, like my sister (that are animal obsessed), can't fathom not being in love with an animal. I have a theory that my sister sucked all the animal loving genes out of me. She has always been crazy about our pets. I remember when we were little girls we would be outside in the the backyard with our dog, Doofus. He was a bit of a doofus; a basset hound, with dopey eyes and a loud, constant bark. It was one of those hot Memphis days, the kind were you can't really play or you will faint of heat exhaustion. Mom had given us Popsicles and told us to beat it, she did not want us to get it all over the floor. Melissa stood by the fence and alternated between licking the Popsicle and letting the dog lick it. They shared the whole thing, lick by lick. I wanted to vomit and told her so. She looked up at me with a round stained clown face and seemed puzzled, "He is hot too!" she said. This has never changed. She still lets the dog lick in her mouth. I hate to call you out sis, but I still am not sure why do that!

So, I have never been the one to have the animal loving gene. That was until I got married. There is something about marriage that makes you feel like you need something to care for. And since Cameron and I are not quite ready for a kid, what does this mean? A DOG! 

I had gone over to our technical team office, which is located a short walk from our own office. This sweet hippie girl had informed me that the dog under her desk was for adoption. He was dopey eyed, had a loud bark and reminded me a lot like Doofus. I thought this was the chance to redeem my past annoyance at our childhood dog. I immediately called Cameron and gave him the scoop on the dog. Cameron came by the office and took one look at the dog and said "He is dopey looking". You see, Cameron always had dreams of owning a dingo. Yes, a baby eating dingo. This dog did not quite measure up to the spastic dog of his dreams.

He began looking around at other dogs at the Humane Society. I was a little ticked. I had finally made my mind up to potentially like a dog and now I was cheating on the dopey eyed thing! I reluctantly went with Cameron to the shelter after I checked out some of the dogs online. As we walked around the poop infested cages, I was thinking to myself "No way I am getting a dog from here". They were jumping at us while we were walking by, scratching at the cages, sometimes falling back in their own pee. In fact, did I want dog at all?

As we circled around one last time, I noticed this sweet little fluffy thing in a bin of shredded newspapers. Now this dog was cute. In fact she was the only one online that I saw that I liked. Could it be that I found the dog I saw online? 

It was her, and we adopted her that day. She has been awesome. We named her KC, which was a little more fitting than Kimbo (Cameron wanted to name her that). 

I am beginning to find out I do like dogs. But not enough to share my Popsicles with them.

Tornadoes in Atlanta

Tornadoes hit Atlanta this weekend, a lot of devastation, but no lives lost. It was by the grace of God that Cameron and I were out of town for the weekend. Cameron was asked to play music at a Disciple Now in Buford, Georgia. Since his parents live 5 minutes away from the church we decided to make a weekend of it. We went to dinner, came home to play a game together and turned on the 12:00 evening news to be shocked at what were seeing. The Georgia Dome is not even 2 miles away from our home, the CNN Center the same distance. I could not believe that a tornado had ripped through the city of Atlanta.

Driving to church on Sunday morning on North Ave., we could see the windows that were blown out of the Equitable Building and the Westin hotel. It was shocking to see what seems to be indestructible looking delicate and fragile. 

I could not imagine what the people felt as they saw there roofs being ripped off. I can't even began to imagine the fear that overcame them. The loss of control. 20 houses in Cabbagetown were crushed. Cabbagetown is a neat little area near Memorial Drive, it was mostly a community consisting of mill workers until the mill closed. 

I love my city. I desire to help my city. I am not sure where to turn, which seems ridiculous. In times like these you wonder what to do while people crying out for help. Our church, 1027 Church, is trying to see what needs can be met in the city. I will keep you posted on the effort. Until then pray for the people that lost homes, pray for our country and pray for us! We desire to be the hands and feet of Jesus here in Atlanta.

Prophecy

A Good Egg

I got an iPod! I am so excited, I cannot believe that I am now inducted into the world of iPods. I used to make fun of the guys at work because they all have their headphones in and I have to practically scream at them to get their attention! I told everyone that I would never do that, that I was connected to the real world more than them.

That was, until I got my iPod.

It is so sweet. A 30 GB. That means it can hold tons of music and movies. I have 2000 songs on there now (thanks to a music head husband) 2 movies, 1 SNL skit and I have not even used half of the memory.  Oh, and I downloaded a game of Scrabble too!

You might ask how I got hooked up with a sweet deal like this. I will tell you my friends, it is because I am "a good egg". Literally. My company's name is Good Egg Studio's. My boss, Liz, gave it to me because of all the hard work I have been doing....

And now I am cool...

Cameron's 26th Birthday

We celebrated Cameron's 26th birthday this Saturday, March 8th. If you know me at all, you know that I love surprises. I thrills me to plan surprises for people, especially Cameron, and try my hardest to throw them off track. I will tell stories, make embellishments, and distract anyone from knowing the surprise (don't worry I don't do this outside of birthdays and major holidays). So, I totally made Cameron think that it was just me and him on his birthday, a little dinner, dessert and some cash for a new bike for him. I could see the disappointment all over his face when I told him our "plans", he (being a gentleman) did not say anything even though I knew what he was thinking. "MAN, its my birthday and we are only going out to dinner with EACH other....I know she is my wife, but dang..."

I thought I had it all planned, while he was taking his typical 20 minute bathroom break I decided to look up directions from the restaurant to Midtown Bowling Alley, which was his big birthday surprise. I had planned all along to have our friends meet us there and surprise him. One of his buddies, Greg, even drove over 3 hours (one way) to come! After I heard the toliet flush, I quickly began looking at my email instead of the bowling website. Right as Cameron plops down beside me on the couch I realized that I HAD LEFT THE BOWLING ALLEY NAME IN THE WEB BROWSER!!!!! As soon as I began to erase it, I looked over and realized, he read it. He knew...

Surprised ruined....

But don't worry folks. A smart girl like me is always prepared with 2-3 surprises. So, I totally blew his socks off when I gave him his present. All along he was expecting $50 dollars for a new bike for him. I really got him  his dream present. A massive screen printing kit, inks, and 14 American Apparel blank t-shirts. He cried.

I won.

Natural Family Planning

Cameron and I decided a month ago that we were going to make the switch from birth control to natural family  planning. For those of you that have never heard of this form of birth control, join my club! This birth control is based on the awareness of a woman's fertility, which provides the knowledge of when you are able to get pregnant or postpone pregnancy. Did you know that a woman is fertile only 24 hours in a month! 

I started taking birth control when I was 18 as a way to help with my cramps. Every time that I would start my period I would immediately get very sick to my stomach, have intense throbbing pain and have to throw up. After missing a day of school each month, missing work, and my mom having to come to my apartment to take care of me , I decided to make an appointment at the doctor. I don't remember much being said about my options, I was happy to be on birth control and it really seemed to work. 

Fast forward to 2005, I was 24 years old when I gave my life to Christ. It was shortly after that, that I decided to get off of birth control because there was no need for it. I did experience some of the symptoms that I had when I was younger, but I began to find ways to alleviate the symptoms. I would take ibuprofen, grab a heating pad and make sure that I was avoiding caffeine. I felt pretty good, for the first time in a long time I could actually feel what it feels to be a woman. I know that sounds strange, the female body is amazing!

Cameron and I were very hesitant and prayerful about getting on birth control when we got married. We had a couple of friends that practiced natural family planning, but the thought of having to put limitations on our new marriage did not seem as appealing. Besides, a baby? Don't you get pregnant with natural family planning? So with the decision made,  I scheduled an appointment at the doctor. She seemed very nice, I met her in her private office where she was excited about our upcoming marriage. I think that she was happy to see a girl that was not currently having sex before marriage. I felt great about our decision, it was an easy answer. But as I began to take the Pill I really felt that I was putting something toxic in my body. I felt different. But, as a new bride, I put it out of my mind.

About a month into our marriage, I really began to feel that there were a lot of problems associated with me taking the birth control. Especially with, gasp, my desire for intimacy with my husband. How could that be? We waited so long, is there something wrong with me mentally? Needless to say, this put an unnatural strain on our fresh, new marriage. After a few months of this, I decided that it was time to go visit the doctor again.

When I spoke with her again, the woman that I had felt so comfortable with the first time, about natural family, she chuckled, "Sure, if you want to get pregnant" was her reply. I then asked her if that was something that we choose in the future could her practice help educate me about it and she stated matter of factly, "No, you can Google it if you have any questions". WHAT? Google it? Taken aback, she began to review my choices for me. I could go in the IUD, switch the pill or take the Nuva Ring. With a purse full of new birth control and  a unsettled heart, I left more confused than before. Why was she so unwilling to discuss natural family planning with me? Am I solving the problems before by switching to another hormone birth control?

It was that weekend at a church retreat that I reached out to several of my married friends. I told them, with great embarrassment that I thought my birth control was ruining my sex life. To my amazement, they echoed the same problems when they were on the Pill too! I was so thankful to hear that I was not the only one with this problem. They encouraged me to pray to God and see what he would want me to do. The most important thing that I heard that night was for me to write down all the negative things that occur with birth control and then the negative things that could happen with natural family planning. I told her that my list for birth control was quite long, but the only negative thing that I could think of about natural family planning was getting pregnant. She then looked at and said that she realized that it was not a negative thing to have a child, that children are gifts from the Lord and she would gladly take a blessing from him any day!

So, now Cameron and I are now approaching our second month of natural family planning. I feel like I have regained my marriage, health and trust in the Lord back. I feel that there is more communication in my marriage, respect and intimacy. I am excited to see what the Lord will  bring in our future. I would like to plan our first child, not have it be a surprise, but I will take any gift the Lord gives me!

It feels good to understand how God made me, the beautiful workings of my body and the importance of trusting him.  If you would like more information on this type of birth control please visit, www.ccli.org/!

My husband is a gentleman

My husband is a gentleman. I don't know if many women know what it is like to be around a true gentleman. Gentleman in the sense that he is chivalrous, courteous and honorable, as best put by Webster's Dictionary. From the moment I met him he was always opening my car door. After the 5th date, I was think to myself , "Okay buddy, I get it, you like me. You can stop opening my door". But he never stopped, he still to this day makes sure that I am safe in the car before he even sits down. 

Grocery shopping, he hates it. Not just dislikes it but it drives him nuts to go with me to the store. I love food, I love to shop for food, I love to look at food, I love to walk down every aisle just to see the new products, ethnic selections and nice cuts of meats. However the reason he truly dislikes it is because I never make a list. I pretended to make a couple back when we first got married, but I would always forget them at home or add 50 more things to the list once we get in the story. Despite this, Cameron, in his gentleman ways, will still go to the store with me. Usually without arguing too much. And on our return home, when we are trying to lug the groceries up our 6 flights of stairs (yes, there is no elevator), he makes sure that I carry the bread, eggs, and paper towels. 

Our sweet dog KC, she is a loveable widdle puppy, only if she did not have to go to the bathroom all time. I used to take her outside half of the time, down 6 flights of stairs, out into the cold parking lot with miniature patch of grass, back up the 6 flights of stairs, 17 times a day. But somewhere in the midst of it all, Cameron has been taking her out most every time, without complaint. I tell myself that he does it because he doesn't like for me to be outside late a night, but in reality, he is being a gentleman. 

My husband, a true gentleman.

Sobriety

This is a spoken piece I gave to my wife to celebrate her 3 years of being sober.

Sober

not affected by alcohol; not drunk. 

Serious, sensible, and solemn.  

Free from alcoholism; not habitually drinking.

3 years sober today! 

Hip, Hip, Hooray! 

... and remember this.

Eyes wide open, awake as can be,

 you used to feel numb, but thats history.

Sobriety is here your senses are keen.

Awake and Alive, your life has been revived, 

your clean.

Sobriety.  

What does this mean to me?

A friend who is here, who listens, who cares.

Its the story my wife tells of how she medicated the pain 

and how God saved her and put her on the road of recovery.

Sobriety is knowing that nothing has a hold on us! 

That God is greater than any substance or fear.

Sobriety is my Wife here and now, 

given a second chance. 

No secrets, 

just honesty. 

Wide open. Living life together.

Scripture uses the word "sober" when it says this:

 "For by the grace given me i say to every one of you. 

Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, 

but rather think of yourself with sober judgement

 in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you"

-Romans 12:3...lowercase life!

We do not live as manic depressants live, 

but have lives that are sober.  

Manic being that of grandeur, defiant, and wildness. 

Depressed being alone, and paralyzed, angry. 

lowercase life is the perspective that God is greater and that this life is not about us.  

We are not Giants running around doing as we please, 

but we live sober lives in reverence to God.

This is lower case that we die to ourself and live in Christ. 

Passionate, sensible, risky, Holy, adventurous lives. 

Melanie! I love you!

-cameron

Acts 17:28

Acts 17:28 

"For in him, we live, move and have our being..."

little girl

So I am blogging now, I am not sure how this will work out. I have never been the type of girl that kept a journal, I realized that it was awfully dumb to put all of your secrets in a little book only to be found by your parents (my little sister taught me that). Nor did I have the time to write all of my feelings or thoughts into a little 6" x 6" book. I would start to write and my hand would do this weird cramping thing while I was trying to hold the book open to keep it from slamming back shut. So I thought that I would move to writing in a Word Document on a laptop that my sister gave me. My thinking was that since I think faster than I could write, I could attempt to keep up by typing. This proved incorrect since the computer my sister gave me was not virus protected and would keep popping porn up in the coffee shop. Needless to say, I quit my attempts at journaling until now. 

My friend, Callie Rich, a lovely wife and mother, is my inspiration for doing this blog. While over at her house a couple of weeks ago, she asked me if I would like to view her pregnancy/birth video, I jumped at the chance. It was amazing to see life unfolding (literally) right before my eyes and the documentation of their journey. I begin to yearn for a story. As you may know, I am not a verbal person.  Sure I can be chatty, but I often don't open up or even know my thoughts enough to share them. Some how communication has been arrested in my life....but I know that the Lord has really been changing my heart the past few years.

Tomorrow is my 3 year anniversary of sobriety! It is funny when I think back to all the years that I drank and used drugs. Sometimes they feel so far away and the day that I finally gave it up seems just as far. But then I realize, it was not that long ago. So much has happened these three years, I am thankful for the changes that have happened. I have a wonderful marriage to my husband, a warm clean home and a relationship with God. I can remember being sober and waking up in the morning, not throwing up for the first time and cooking breakfast. MAN, that was the best thing ever! I finally loved the mornings. I would make eggs, bacon and toast, brew fresh coffee and sit down with all the windows open enjoying the cool of the morning while reading my Bible and praying. Those were the best times, I really felt God moving in my life and knew that I was truly changed. He made me new and healed my addictions. 

I do long for those times now, it has been hard working full time. Those mornings are not easy to wake up to anymore with a sleeping husband in bed and the darkness of the day. I know that God is calling me to a different place, a place that I have to seek him, to be disciplined. So, I have been trying to wake up earlier to squeeze in  a few minutes with him each day. But it is not enough, I need more of him and less of me.

I need a lowercase life.