I started taking birth control when I was 18 as a way to help with my cramps. Every time that I would start my period I would immediately get very sick to my stomach, have intense throbbing pain and have to throw up. After missing a day of school each month, missing work, and my mom having to come to my apartment to take care of me , I decided to make an appointment at the doctor. I don't remember much being said about my options, I was happy to be on birth control and it really seemed to work.
Fast forward to 2005, I was 24 years old when I gave my life to Christ. It was shortly after that, that I decided to get off of birth control because there was no need for it. I did experience some of the symptoms that I had when I was younger, but I began to find ways to alleviate the symptoms. I would take ibuprofen, grab a heating pad and make sure that I was avoiding caffeine. I felt pretty good, for the first time in a long time I could actually feel what it feels to be a woman. I know that sounds strange, the female body is amazing!
Cameron and I were very hesitant and prayerful about getting on birth control when we got married. We had a couple of friends that practiced natural family planning, but the thought of having to put limitations on our new marriage did not seem as appealing. Besides, a baby? Don't you get pregnant with natural family planning? So with the decision made, I scheduled an appointment at the doctor. She seemed very nice, I met her in her private office where she was excited about our upcoming marriage. I think that she was happy to see a girl that was not currently having sex before marriage. I felt great about our decision, it was an easy answer. But as I began to take the Pill I really felt that I was putting something toxic in my body. I felt different. But, as a new bride, I put it out of my mind.
About a month into our marriage, I really began to feel that there were a lot of problems associated with me taking the birth control. Especially with, gasp, my desire for intimacy with my husband. How could that be? We waited so long, is there something wrong with me mentally? Needless to say, this put an unnatural strain on our fresh, new marriage. After a few months of this, I decided that it was time to go visit the doctor again.
When I spoke with her again, the woman that I had felt so comfortable with the first time, about natural family, she chuckled, "Sure, if you want to get pregnant" was her reply. I then asked her if that was something that we choose in the future could her practice help educate me about it and she stated matter of factly, "No, you can Google it if you have any questions". WHAT? Google it? Taken aback, she began to review my choices for me. I could go in the IUD, switch the pill or take the Nuva Ring. With a purse full of new birth control and a unsettled heart, I left more confused than before. Why was she so unwilling to discuss natural family planning with me? Am I solving the problems before by switching to another hormone birth control?
It was that weekend at a church retreat that I reached out to several of my married friends. I told them, with great embarrassment that I thought my birth control was ruining my sex life. To my amazement, they echoed the same problems when they were on the Pill too! I was so thankful to hear that I was not the only one with this problem. They encouraged me to pray to God and see what he would want me to do. The most important thing that I heard that night was for me to write down all the negative things that occur with birth control and then the negative things that could happen with natural family planning. I told her that my list for birth control was quite long, but the only negative thing that I could think of about natural family planning was getting pregnant. She then looked at and said that she realized that it was not a negative thing to have a child, that children are gifts from the Lord and she would gladly take a blessing from him any day!
So, now Cameron and I are now approaching our second month of natural family planning. I feel like I have regained my marriage, health and trust in the Lord back. I feel that there is more communication in my marriage, respect and intimacy. I am excited to see what the Lord will bring in our future. I would like to plan our first child, not have it be a surprise, but I will take any gift the Lord gives me!
It feels good to understand how God made me, the beautiful workings of my body and the importance of trusting him. If you would like more information on this type of birth control please visit, www.ccli.org/!
4 comments:
Just call me Aunt Lissa! They will spend their summers in the mountains with me. We will swim at the lake, go fishing and learn how to ride a dirt bike! They will love me! Just remember all the twins we have on both sides of the family!!! LOL! Be ready to gain weight and have lots and lots of stretch marks! They are moms beauty marks! Learn to love them. As tiny as you are... Learn to love to throw up. Morning sickness is beautiful. Get ready to cry when he eats the last bag of Cracker Jacks. Prepare for a life with hams for feet. The best part is when the baby kicks your bladder and you pee a little on your self! Oh the joys of pregnancy! Then the best part is getting to push the baby out! I cannot wait to be there when you have a "bug up your butt!" I love you and really want you to get pregnant. I am so so so so ready for some more kids in the family! Once you get pregnant, Jason will be on me like a hawk to have another one! LOL I love you both very much and know you two will be amazing parents!
Melissa
Just remember I'm not getting any younger.
You are a beautiful woman after God's heart, and I rest in the knowledge of the blessings He has laid out for your life. I am so proud of you and your obedience, and I can say that my heart is at peace more now, after a child, than it was when I was on birth control out of fear of exactly that. And always remember...Josiah was a conscious decision, not a "surprise." :)
hey mel. I just read your blog post after chatting with you at the wedding. I am all about this. Why does the dr. think that we are so foolish and lazy? Its ridiculous that something like NFP with a backup method that is non abortive during fertile times is considered risky. I use a back up method that is called "Lea's shield" with a natural spermicide of aloe gel and lemon juice. 94% efficacy rate. that is just as good as any pill without the side effects. there is also a great little thing called a "lady comp" that will compute your temp for you and give you a dummy light. red for fertile yellow for could be fertile and green for definitely not fertile. go to "rax medical", they have a payment plan for it. i love it. it wakes you up with an alarm every morning. I had the exact same experience with the pill or any other hormonal birth control. Seriously decreased sex drive(which is normally high)plus a trouble really enjoying the sex when we did have it. I had horrible indigestion. I have read countless studies that say that is abortive that there is no way they can tell you that you are not ovulating. it suppresses ovulation but doesn't necessarily stop it. the follicle is still there as it is when there is ovulation. they cannot be sure that you haven't ovulated. The mini pill doesn't suppress ovulation at all. what is happening to all those fertilized eggs... babies? ...apparently, the hormones also make it hard for a fertilized egg to implant. and it is miscarried. anyway. this is a subject that is dear to my heart and if you feel convicted about hormonal birth control then I think its only right that you don't take the easy way out. and that you use the brain God has given you. :)
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